FistsofFury
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Just call me Fists
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« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2009, 12:19:13 pm » |
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All I can think of at the moment is a nursry rhyme
Old Lady Hubbard
Went to her cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone
When she bent over
Rover took over
and slipped in a bone of his own
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I am not a gynecologist, but I'd be happy to take a look scuba divers do it deeper free dating site for straight people |
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ltljohndowe
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Spoil 'em then Spank 'em!!
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« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2009, 03:31:21 pm » |
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One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice.
Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?"
"Nope," replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."
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Diagonally parked… in a parallel universe!
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ltljohndowe
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Spoil 'em then Spank 'em!!
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« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2009, 05:12:33 pm » |
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A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.
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Diagonally parked… in a parallel universe!
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ltljohndowe
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Spoil 'em then Spank 'em!!
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« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2009, 06:08:11 am » |
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There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"
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Diagonally parked… in a parallel universe!
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jblo79
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« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2009, 06:23:03 am » |
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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jblo79
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« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2009, 07:18:25 am » |
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There's a woman in the hospital, in labor, in extreme pain...
She's yelling at her husband, cursing him for doing this to her.. non stop.
He throws his hand up in the air and says, "Hey don't blame this on me! I wanted to put it in your ass, but Noooooooo! THAT would hurt too much!"
Sorry....
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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raceorfly
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« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2009, 07:19:17 am » |
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LOL I love it
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Live, Love, and Laugh, like it's your last day. And by all means, have fun.
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jblo79
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« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2009, 07:23:05 am » |
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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raceorfly
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« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2009, 07:28:37 am » |
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If you breed a bulldog and a shitzu, would you call it bullshit?
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Live, Love, and Laugh, like it's your last day. And by all means, have fun.
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jblo79
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« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2009, 07:35:40 am » |
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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raceorfly
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« Reply #25 on: November 01, 2009, 07:53:26 am » |
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A guy walks into a fancy hotel bar. Sits down next to a nice sexy woman and asks if he can buy her a drink. She replies sure, and so he buys her a drink. This goes on for a bit and finally he asks if she'd like to come to his room. She replies, your drunk and no good to me now, but tell me your room number and I'll be there first thing in the morning. He gives her his room number and they go thier seperate ways.
Next morning he heres a knock on his his door and with a growing hard on opens the door. There stands the woman from the night before, dressed in a maids uniform and replies housekeeping.
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Live, Love, and Laugh, like it's your last day. And by all means, have fun.
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jblo79
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« Reply #26 on: November 01, 2009, 07:55:28 am » |
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I wish I could think of more...
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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jblo79
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« Reply #27 on: November 01, 2009, 08:08:58 am » |
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A white missionary is visiting a tribe in Africa, teaching them about religion, and falls for the chief's daughter.. He's sneaking into her hut every night and eventually gets her pregnant... when the baby is is born there is an uproar because the baby is light skinned... The chief corners the missionary, ready to kill him if he can't explain what is going on.. The terrified missionary thinks a bit and points to a field of sheep, and explains... You see it's an anomaly, a fluke, a freak of nature if you will.. You see all of those sheep out there?, They are all white... except that one black sheep. It happens... The chief gets quiet.. making the missionary more worried. Then he says... Look... If you don't tell anyone about the sheep... I won't tell anyone about you....  |
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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raceorfly
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« Reply #28 on: November 01, 2009, 08:09:20 am » |
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three young men on a road trip break down in the middle of nowhere. They start walking and notice a farm house. They walk to the farm house and knock on the door. The old farmer answers and invites them in after learning thier story. The old farmer say's he'll take them to town tomorrow but in the meantime they can stay for dinner and sleep in the hay loft.
At dinner the old farmers wife has made a beautiful dinner of potatoes, fried chicken and corn on the cob. At which point she yells out, Honey it's time for dinner.
As the three young men start loading thier plates the most gorgeous young woman walks in and sits down. Shotgun in hand the old farmers states, you boys stay away from my girl or there will be hell to pay.
Dinner goes on and the boys all retire to the barn. After a little while the lights go out in the house and they hear the barn door open.
All you pervs thought the daughter was coming in didn't you, LOL
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Live, Love, and Laugh, like it's your last day. And by all means, have fun.
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jblo79
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« Reply #29 on: November 01, 2009, 08:21:13 am » |
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A guy was running late for work one morning nd was speeding across a bridge trying to make up time... at the end of the bridge he thinks he might make it. Then he sees red and blue lights in his mirror and hears a siren... he pulls over. The cop comes to his window and asks for his license and registration. The guy starts to fumble around for it, apologizing the whole time. I'm sorry officer, I'm running behind, and if I am late for work, they might fire me! The cop asks what he does, and the guy thinks for a minute and replies, I'm a rectum stretcher. The cop says, What is a rectum stretcher? The guy says... Well, I start with one finger in the rectum, then two, then three.. keep on doing this until I get both hands in. Then I start pulling apart with both hands... and I keep pulling until it is six feet wide. The cop says, What the heel would you do with a six foot asshole? ...Give him a radar gun and post him at the end of a bridge. |
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Never take anything too seriously!..
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